


What Really Went Down in the Throne Room: A Shitty Reylo Fanfic

by Sneaky_Soup



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Daddy Issues, Disney World & Disneyland, Family Issues, Funny, Helmets, Lightsabers, Multi, Romance, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22256701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sneaky_Soup/pseuds/Sneaky_Soup
Summary: All your fantasies come true in this shit fanfiction about what really happens in the throne room in The Last Jedi. Crylo Ren and Rey finish fighting the praetorian guards and now they can't help how turned on they are and the fun begins. Enjoy this piece of art...or don't. It's meant to be shit. Warning: sex, curse words, and ridiculous terms to refer to genitalia.(I originally posted on 3/16/2018 on fanfiction.net)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	What Really Went Down in the Throne Room: A Shitty Reylo Fanfic

What Really Went Down in the Throne Room: A Shitty Reylo Fanfic

I send my light stick soaring through the air. Good thing Ben ain’t shit at hand-eye coordination. He catches the light stick in his large man hand and goes “pew” and now the man behind him has a hole in his face.

He locks eyes with me and stands up. _He’s so intense…can’t stare for too long or else…_

“The fleet! Order them to stop firing, there’s still time to save the fleet!” He just stands there, staring at me, saying nothing. _Oh bother_ … I am way too turned on right now. There’s nothing like slicing the Supreme Leader in half and killing his minions alongside your enemy to get you in the mood.

“Ben?” My lasagna lips are almost wet enough to water all of the Middle East plus a couple of thirsty petunias.

“Rey, join me. We can bring new order to the galaxy. Let’s rule together, please,” he gently begs.

“Whoa, there. What’s happening right now? Are we just gonna NOT discuss how all my people still being blown up?”

“I feel it,” he continues in his deep man voice. “I know you feel it too. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I, umm… I don’t know if I do?” _Gotta keep my cool. I can’t give in to this beautiful premenstrual symptom ridden man-child._

“Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen what’s in your mind, remember? We’re connected by the Force…”

“Well, if you’ve already seen what’s in my mind, then I shouldn’t have to tell you what it is I feel that you feel.”

“I want to hear you say it,” he basically whispers. It sends shivers down my spinal column and I want to throw up. I just stare back at him, muscles clenched, too nervous to move. I’m panting and my skin holes have begun leeching out skin tears.

Ben closes the space between us with heavy determined steps and grabs my face, smushing his sexy feminine man lips against mine.

“Oh Ben…the first time I saw your face, when you said ‘You know I can take whatever I want’ I nearly nutted myself on the spot.”

“If you had nutted yourself, I would have nutted myself.”

“If you had nutted yourself, I would have nutted myself again.”

“…After 15 minutes I would’ve nutted myself again.”

“Seeing yourself nut yourself again would’ve made me nut myself…”

“Okay, I get it. You’re a female, you can have multiple orgasms, don’t rub it in,” he mumbles.

“I’ll rub you in, if you catch my drift,” I grin wickedly. I grab his thick ass black locks and pull his man face toward mine. He then attacks my neck, pulling at my clothes. I mimic the fervent grabbing of clothes and remove his shirt. I admire his chiseled pecks, those muscular arms, and that collarbone you could crack a walnut on. “Oh Ben, you’re so WIDE…Is your dick as wide as your bod?”

“No,” he answers confidently. “It’s averaged sized.” Then he tugs me toward him again, grasping my buttocks, with the full intent of his plans blazing in his eyes.

With a flick a da wrist he undresses me with the Force, catching me off guard, revealing my BREASTS and fur burger. I quickly try to cover my lady goods, suddenly shy. His dark, smoldering eyes gaze at me through long dark eye lashes and I almost nut myself again. We lunge at each other’s bods; tits smushing together. My hands enjoy the rolling hills of his back, his hands enjoy the rolling hills of dat ass.

He guides me to the floor, his hands placed on the floor to either side of my head…his trouser snake slithering against my lower abdomen.

“I want to make you cum so hard,” Ben says breathily, eyes locked hard onto mine.

“My vagina will be Alderaan and your dick will be the Death Star.”

Ben starts to slide his hand down to my beef curtains when I stop him, “Wait. Shouldn’t we lock the door first? I mean, we did just murder Snoke and his guards…and I’m naked…someone might walk in…”

“Let them watch,” he says, giving zero shites about an audience.

The pantalones begin to come off and the man dick is EMERGED.

I stare wide eyed at his fuck rod. It’s average sized (as promised), circumcised, and slightly bent toward the right. “Wow…” I whisper.

The heat-seeking moisture missile slides into my hot pocket and the SEX begins. The slow, gentle motions of his tuna torpedo in and out of my cock sock feel simultaneously so wrong and so right. How could I have let myself fall for a man of the dark side? Why couldn’t I have just liked Finn? _Well…he’s a man of the “dark side” too…his dick might be wide…_

The SEX gets faster and more intense and I start to go partially blind. In the rush of passion my subconscious desires reveal themselves. “Spank me! … Spank me like my father never did!”

He wastes no time flipping me over into a doggo-style position and starts smackin the hell out of dat ass. _Smack smack_ “Yeah, who’s your daddy?” he says through gritted teeth.

“I don’t know!” I exclaim. He knows I don’t know who my parents were, how dare he ask me.

“I’M YOUR DADDY NOW BITCH!”

“DAADDDYY” I scream as I can literally feel my parental issues seep out through my cooch juice.

He go _spank spank_ some more then flips me over to my back again. He dives for the BREASTS, sucking the baby feeder into his man mouth. He stops, breathing heavily. “Now I need you to do something for me…” he starts. “Quick, put this on.” Ben hands me a Darth Vader helmet from out of nowhere.

“What the hell? Where did this come from?” _Has he been storing that thing in his ass or something?_

“I bought it during vacation at Disney World.”

“Da fuck planet is ‘Disney World’?”

He shoves the cheap, sweaty replica on my head without my consent and starts violently thrusting. “Yeah! You like that? Who’s on top NOW, DARTH BITCH? Everyone thought I’d never be as good as you GRANDPA but look at me NOW!!”

My voice is stupidly altered and now sounds deep and stupid. “Fuckin Christ Ben you have issues.”

“Hey, I didn’t judge you when you made me spank you and pretend to be your dad. Just let me have this.”

….

75 minutes of flesh flute inside front butt later and I feel my meat tunnel start to get super dooper hot. The hotness spreads through my body like cancer that has metastasized. “Oh boy, I think the ORGASM is arriving,” I announce, my voice STILL sounding like a messed up version of Darth Vader.

“Me too, oh boy, let us ORGASM at the same time, Rey,” he responds.

Ben’s cervix crusader slams dat cum sponge at speeds up to 30 meters per second at 9000 times per minute.

“THE STORM TROOPERS HAVE BEEN RELEASED!”

An explosion of passions sends me and Ben flying off in opposite directions, knocking me out instantly.

…

I awaken confused, naked, wearing a Darth Vader helmet, and on top of a dead praetorian guard. I remove the helmet and walk over to Ben who is unconscious on the floor. I admire him and trace my fingies down the scar I gave him from his eye to his chest.

…

I jolt awake and in fucking pain and see that punk bitch General Hux standing there. _Where’s Rey?_ I think anxiously.

“What. Happened?” the punk bitch asks.

“The girl murdered Snoke,” I stand myself up in a hurry, my boy bits hurt like they’ve been domestically abused.

“WHY are you naked and WHY is our Supreme leader cut in half?” he asks annoyed and scared. “Our Supreme Leader is dead! We have no Supreme ruler!”

I use the Force to strangle this pasty, whiny man. I can’t listen to his vocal cord noises anymore. “The Supreme Leader is dead,” I say forcefully. “And I will fuck anyone who gets in my way.”

“…I guess you’ll just have to fuck me then…” General Hux manages to say while being choked.

_Sigh_ “Okay, let’s get this over with…. Here! Put this helmet on…”


End file.
